This Earthen Vessel

About two months ago, I was taking my mother to her eye doctor appointment to determine if she had cataracts. She did and we got the necessary information for her next steps with the Veterans Administration, thankfully. Afterward, I treated her to brunch at one of my favorite restaurants that specializes in Brunch, and because of its trendiness, it was characteristically busy. My mom has to be on oxygen when out and about, and so we waited in the car, being #22 in line, it was pleasantly less noisy than it was inside. Surprisingly, we got in rather quickly and proceeded to get settled with our coffee and set about looking through the menu.

we ordered, and then had some small talk waiting for our meal to arrive. At some point shortly after ordering, a woman walked by our table, and I recognized the telltale masculine short hair, buzzed on the sides, indicating she was lesbian. What struck me, however, was that on the back of her shirt, she had the word “playboy” logo of the infamous pornographic magazine, four times going from top to bottom like a bulleted list. Here she made sure everyone would know what her identity was, and her lgbt pride loudly proclaiming itself. And it sickened my heart. Here was this broken person, God only knows what her story is, the various reasons that led her to determine she was gay, oblivious to the reality behind this proclamation.

It reminded me of the day Hugh Hefner died. Up until that day, his name and what he stood for was seemingly non-existent, until he died. And upon hearing the news, I experienced rage. Out came my grievances against this man who’s lifetime career of philandering and sexual immorality had impacted thousands upon millions of people. His influenced managed to weasel itself into the life of my father, and then was passed down to me. I was angry at what it did to my father, angry at the circumstances that infiltrated our lives that brought defilement , decay and destruction. And now here it all came back as I watched this woman pass our table.

What impacted me the most of this moment was seeing a woman, who genuinely revels in her lgbt-ness that she is completely unaware that what she’s honoring is something that ultimately denigrates her as a woman. She demonstrated by her own advertisement that she is ignorant of what she’s praising. And I see so much of that in the lives of those I know, who went back into Sodom and Gomorrah. They celebrate their wokeness and self-delusion, reveling in their newly found freedom to be whatever they want to be, since, they say, that’s all God cares about, that He only cares that they be ultimately happy becoming their own god. They have remade God in their own image and as such, have turned a Holy God into a champion of Sodomy.

The instruction from the word of God has a different opinion, however.

Most of the time, the accusation has been directed at ministries, like the one I work for, to say that we use “clobber verses” to condemn people who are in the lgbt sub-culture. Those statements are not true, and they’re meant to shut people down, to shame and intimidate them into silence. The reality is, scripture foretold of them ages ago, and it’s quite accurate. For instance, in Romans 1: 21-25 we read:

“because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man—and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things. Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever, Amen.”

Have you ever noticed when you read this passage that it specifies ” THE lie”? What is THE lie? I firmly believe it goes all the way back to the garden. In Genesis 3: 4-5 we read:

“ Then the serpent said to the woman, “You surely shall not die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” The serpent was tempting them with satan’s own pride and arrogance; To become like God.”

The serpent was tempting Eve with the lie that God was being selfish, keeping them from attaining all the happiness they could have. Aren’t we seeing something of that happening now in our present culture? Commercials tout various ways we can be happy, with this thing or that, even touting the virtues of celebrating homosexuality and same-sex couples with children. It cannot escape anyone’s notice that our media and entertainment promote anything and everything under the sun. It eradicates the male-female complement as the standard, and it echoes the song from the 60’s ” If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with” by Crosby, Stills, and Nash.

There’s such a departure from the fear of the Lord. And without the fear of the Lord there’s no wisdom. In Job we read ” And to man He said, ‘ Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, And to depart from evil is understanding.'” Job 28:28

This is what I know about the fear of the Lord, which garners it’s own accusation, portraying God as some dictator who’s waiting to strike us with lightning if we aren’t cowering in fear. The truth, however, is that walking/living in the fear of the Lord brings God’s favor and blessing. This is what I understand about the fear of the Lord according to the word of God.

It has to be taught. Ps34:11

the fear of the Lord is clean. Ps 19:9

It’s the beginning of wisdom. Prov 9:10

It’s a fountain of life. Prov 14:27

It leads to life. Prov 19:23

Because of the fear of the Lord we are able to praise Him wholeheartedly. Ps 22:23

Those who fear Him have all they need. Ps 34:9

The fear of the Lord enables us to submit one to another. Eph 5:21

Enables us to work toward complete holiness as we cleanse ourselves from defilement of the flesh and the spirit. 2 Cor 7:1

Recently I watched a video on YouTube about a very popular Christian band that made headlines years ago about their collective departure from the word to turn to human emotion instead, and they declared it so verbatim in an interview with a lesbian commentator who is out to prove that those Christians who stand according to the word are archaic, deluded in her opinion. I will say, that it appears she’s looking for truth, but when a person sets out to make the bible line up with their emotions and impulses, rejecting anything that makes an argument for not only walking in the fear of the Lord, but fully submitting to the authority of the word of God, you can be sure they have willingly opened themselves up to a deluding influence. This is scary to me, and it should be to you my dear reader. In 2 Thess 2:9-12

The coming of the lawless one is according to the working of Satan, with all power, signs, and lying wonders,  and with all unrighteous deception among those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved.  And for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie, that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

I cannot stress enough the urgency of the need for us to examine our hearts according to the word of God, and make sure we are walking with Jesus wholeheartedly and in full submission to His Lordship which entails yielding our lives fully to the word of God and the authority of scripture, in the fear of the Lord.

After walking away from a homosexual identity in 1999, as I journeyed with Jesus, yielding to His Lordship and letting Him teach me who I was and how He created me to be, I became very aware of lgbt folks defending their freedom of doing whatever they wanted to do, whenever they wanted to do it. And it was clear to me they were and are fighting to remain in bondage. And they still do to this day, albeit with more prominent men and women defending it. Turn on your TV today and I’d say within an hour one will likely see something promoting all things lgbt. Even the media is subrogating for children’s sexual rights to copulate with adults. It’s a real deal. And it’s egregious to me. Imagine how grieved God is. I don’t want to be on the receiving end of God’s wrath. I DO fear the Lord, and I do want to walk in all of His ways, and to yield daily to His will. It’s literally a daily walk for all of us that believe God and His word.

My walk with Jesus has been a journey of discovery and understanding first-hand, how deceptive the flesh can be, even in the life of someone who says they know Him. In 2007 I was a participant in Living Waters, and I was finding myself addicted to pornography. In my small group, I would confess that I was “struggling” with porn. I had no idea that the word struggle actually means to contend with or to fight against. I wasn’t fighting against it, rather I was doing olympic swims through porn. During this time, two men came into my life, one I hadn’t seen in 10 years and the other 20 years. When we keep secrets with the devil, we lose. Every time. The friend I hadn’t seen in 10 yrs confused me, as he was a champion for all things lgbt, and especially in favor of porn. Through spending time with him and being honest about my issue with addiction, confusion came, I began to question the Living Waters program, and the accusation began to form within that it was the program which was the problem, not my sin. The devil is quite clever. Soon I found myself devoting more time with my friend, which led me to going back into secular music, and things of the flesh. This also opened me up to once again going to the gay bars with him and his friends whom I was also spending time with. 1 Corinthians 15:33 warns us first to NOT be deceived, and then to warn that bad communication corrupts good morals. I was literally experiencing this. Eventually this led to trying to date again, but ironically though I tried to date men, it failed miserably, and at one point had the impression that God was keeping me from succeeding. This is also when the man I hadn’t seen in 20 yrs came back into my life. The confusion deepened, as my heart, my emotions, the memories of this mans presence in my life came flooding back. Ironically, I found that there was nothing there for me, and I was able to walk away from him. But I was still trying to figure out what was going on.

Then one evening, I went to one of the bars I had been at many times in my young adult life. And I’m sitting there at a table with a drink, all by myself. A moment of clarity came as I looked around the bar. Realizing I was so disconnected from that life, from the atmosphere, from that prison. In that moment I woke up.

“What am I doing here?”

“How did I end up in this place?”

This is not the life I wanted, nor was this who I ever wanted to be. I stood up, and walked out knowing this would never happen again. I reached out to a friend who was a truth seeker, and she was able to help me clarify the one thing that had been the culprit all along. I wasn’t being real with anyone about what I was doing, what I was being tempted with, and the ways I made room for sexual sin. I’d like to say that my journey has been free from sin, but it hasn’t. It’s been a lifetime of saying yes to Jesus over and over again as I learn what real, life-giving accountability looks like in everyday life. But I will say that my life is no longer dominated by sexual sin. In fact, I’m walking in way more freedom than ever before, and it has made my walk with God richer and more intimate. I’m discovering that intimacy with Jesus has no limits and I’m incredibly thankful. There are so many wonderful ways to say yes to Jesus.

My hearts desire is for these people to encounter the Living God, the one who came to set the captive free, which He does if we allow Him to be Lord over ALL.